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Today it took about 30 seconds for my thumb to scroll through 145 photographs on my ipod. The first one is of a bunch of friend jumping on the trampoline at Sarah's going away party in 2004. We had just graduated and off she went to hair dressing school. Others went UVIC to continue their education. I stayed home, worked, and wondered what was next. The last picture is from April of this year, it is of some friends and I standing in front of Kipu falls here in Kauai. Six years of my life compiled together into one little ipod album.
Lately things have not been the easiest. But as i look back on pictures from home and overseas I am overwhelmed by Gods goodness in my life. Each photograph is a memory of where God has taken me as a leader, a follower, a sister, a daughter, a servant and a friend. I am blown away by his faithfulness.
I can't keep up with God.
His plans are too grand and His ways are too other.
Kauai has started its first DTS! After eight months of community involvment, team building and planning it is so exciting for us to see this base get up and running. We have six students here with us now and have just started our fourth week of lecture. It's amazing to see what God has already started to do in these students lives. Its definetly different having such a small school (compared to what we are used to in Honolulu) but its really cool too because it allows us to focus our attention on each student individually so much more.
Two teams will be sent out in December. One to India and then Josh and I are going to Nepal/another country in the "far east". We only have two girls coming with us, which is crazy to me because i am used to leading larger teams, but God is really asking me to trust Him with this outreach. I feel like He is going to be able to use us in new and different ways because of our size, and that we will really have a freedom in our mobility as a team.
He is so worthy of every iota of praise we can give Him.
Praise Him!
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Welcome to the babysitters club! Ywam Kauai is pleased to announce we are now taking in 15-17 year old male and female children. Ywam Kauai offers a healthy environment for your teens to learn and grow. Nutritious meals, trips to local waterfalls, and spiritual mentorship gallor!
So this summer about half our team went missing (shark attacks or trips to the mainland, you decide) and in lieu of that we filled up our houses with a bunch of teenagers. We joke about us being the babysitters club since Blair's younger brother, Raquel's younger sister, and a few boys from the surfing ministry next door have taken up semi permanent residence with us. It has actually been a blast having all these extra guys around to keep us up on our toes and motivating us to get out and explore!
In the four months Ive spent on Kauai I have grown to love Hawaiian people and culture more than I ever did in the past 2 years in Honolulu. The main reason for this simply being that since moving to this island I actually have time to invest in relationships outside of the Ywam bubble, and it's been awesome. I run into the kids from keiki club at the beach and play marco polo with them or I go cliff jumping with the young adults after church. Having this time to establish ourselves as a base and a team before running a DTS has been such a blessing. Still, I cant wait for our first DTS this fall! Lately my mind has been trying to guess where Gods gonna send me on outreach this time. I couldn't ask for a better life planner than my main man JC, He always has the best adventures in store!
This past week I had an amazing/exhausting time kayaking along the Na Pali coast. 15 miles of kayaking, 15 miles of hiking and sleeping on the beach for 3 nights really wears on you when you have a cold! I lost my voice almost completely and was blowing my nose every 5 minutes, but the beauty there made it worth it all!
Due to impending US visa expiry and missing my family grandly, I leave for home home on Tuesday. This trip has been the longest one away (almost 11 months) and I feel like God has done so so much in me and through me. Its been an insane year and I can honestly say that Ive never been more ready to go back home for a little down time!
Im ready to open the door to a full fridge.
Pau.
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i love going out in the waves right after dinner.
when the sun starts hiding behind the mountains, leaving colourful clouds in the sky.
i lay there on my body board, pausing in awe, as dusk proceeds to creep in painting reds and pinks and oranges on the oceans face.
and then i catch a wave, and the colours disappear as the whitewash erases them all away.
then i paddle back out. pause in worship:
seriously God, this is beautiful, how do i get to live here? how did you make this and why do I get to experience it?
i also dont love staring out at the waves right after dinner.
when the sun starts disappearing behind the mountains, the sky is overcast, gray clouds hiding any semblance of the moon.
somedays monotony gets to me.
and i let my thoughts drift back to my family and my home home. i think about my future and where i will end up. i start freaking myself out and wondering whats next after two years in this "paradise".
i sigh with doubt:
seriously God, why am i living here? how did you make this beauty for a people who ingnore you?
why did you call me here? will we have enough students? where will the finances come from. i know you are faithful, so why dont i trust you to provide? is this all a mistake? was i really born for this, or was i so directionless you had no where else to put me? do i love missions and people or just travel and adventure. am i missing my chance for real schooling and a real career. two years from now, where will i go? will i have a greater grip on what it is you have for me, or will i be further from it as possibilities get broader and broader. should i be ministering at home? am i strong enough to be a missionary in my own hometown or am i a fake? is intimacy really the key to longevity with you or is it discipline? where is he? and does he even exist, or am i too picky to give him a chance?
do i love you? or do i simply love this life youve given me?
what is circumstantial and what is truth?
honestly.
some questions he doesnt even need to bother answering because Him and I both know how ridiculous I am being.
some of my doubts simply need a swift kick in the butt by His truth.
some answers He knows i need not know just yet.
and others are simply my own to answer.
as time will tell, it is my choice to be faithful.
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With the return of our students safely to Honolulu, debriefing, graduation, and seeing them off to the airport, i have now completed my commitment to Ywam Honolulu.
I took about two weeks off and just relaxed and prepared myself for the next step in this crazy journey of life. There was an odd clash of emotions. From saying goodbye to my team i had just spent the last 5 months of my life getting close to and the staff i had worked alongside for 3 schools- to being excited and nervous and anxious all in one for this wacky new thing of pioneering in Kauai. Everything seemed surreal.
And so, here i am.
I have been in Kauai for a month now and I can honestly say God is so faithful to my heart.
We live in the ghetto, get donations from the food bank and drive a crappy mini van that runs soley on a prayer. We volunteer in food kitchens, perform skits at the highschool, bake cookies for our neighbour, and pick up trash on the beach. There are 9 of us here, all in our 20's with no clue what pioneering really looks like, with a goal of running our first school in September.
This is crazy. And I love it to pieces!
From my bedroom i can hear the sound of waves crashing along the shore. In my free time i walk thirty seconds across the street and go boogie board the waves or read on the beach.
Last week Raquel and I used our landlords kayaks on this amazing river down the street.
I practiced cartwheels with my 11 year old friend at our churchs beach bbq on friday night.
Our friend Art Collins came and blessed us with encouragment, donuts, and the use of his hotel waterslide.
I love that this is all about Jesus. Its all about the plans he has for Kauai. For the youth here. For us individually as staff. For the nations He will bring justice to through future outreach teams.
Day to day looks like worship, prayer, lecture, meetings, admin stuff, planning meals and grocery shopping. We are constantly busy, yet it feels slow paced. We just need to stay focused on our ultimate goals here and realize that mundane tasks are always a part of the process.
Day to day would be impossible without knowing this is exactly where God has called us to for this time.
It is easy.
It is hard.
It is emotional and draining.
It is enjoyable and fulfilling.
I love Kauai!
The Team: Will, Blair, CJ, Raquel, Lauren, Justin, Amy, Josh, and moi.
Team bonding time!
Kayaking.
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| Day 57
Today we got to speak in our friend Eva's Religious Philosophy class at the university. We felt incredibly honored to get to go share about our faith and answer the questions her buddhist professor and the students had to ask. God has been so faithful opening up oppertunities for us here!
Day 63
Valentines Day! And for our team in Thailand that means its time to ride elephants! Sam and i rode on baby Maddie. It was a ton of fun and i was just astounded how faithful God is to the desires of my heart,
as i had wanted to do this for years!
Day 66
Had a prayer walk at Duitsep temple. Was sad watching all these people bow down before meaningless idols, but i also had to evalauate myself and confess what idols I bow down to in Canada/America- such as materialsim. Missionaries come here and pray that these people would stop worshipping false gods.With an outside perspective we can see it so clearly, but if a Christian from one of these countries came to Honolulu they would spot our material worship just as obviously! Perhaps our gods are even worse then these golden images, for we base our own value (and the value of others) in them. It is ridiculous really! Yet so appealing and somehow I am completely happy living in this mud hole of materialism myself. It's what I grew up with, bred into me through society, it's all ive ever known. I am so comfortable in it.
How do i breakthrough? Lord help me see the sin that I am in. help me not love the things of this world. May I be more focused on the Kingdom of heaven and its advancement than the kingdom of men and my advancement in it! May i see things the way you see them. Its so easy to judge these people but if i was born here chances i would be ringing that same bell....
(A child worshiping at Duitsep.)
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